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Best Statuses

Below you will find our collection of best facebook statuses.

best status

 

Best Status
My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her, and I said It’s freaking 2011, I’ll rent a boat…..
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Best Status
If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS
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Best Status 
Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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Best Status 
I have a Date tonight, Woot Woot! (of course its with the couch, pillow and TV Remote, but its still a date. Right?)
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Best Status 
Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time..
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Best Status 
C.L.A.S.S – Come Late And Start Sleeping
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Best Status 
Young love is two hearts with only one thing in mind.
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Best Status 
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
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Best Status 
I’ll be a billionaire once I’m done inventing this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet.
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Best Status 
If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.
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Best Status 
The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.
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Best Status 
Okay mom…you know I love you…but I can’t accept your friend request on Facebook.
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Best Status 
I wish I could google “things to eat in my fridge” so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
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Best Status 
Remember, when she cancels a date she has to But when he cancels a date he has TWO.
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Best Status 
A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use? Trainer replies: Use the ATM
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