Crazy Status, Short Crazy Quotes
People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p
Me Normal? WHO SAID THAT! I’ll stab them with a gummy bear!
No officer, I did not hit their, I simply Fist Pumped their face!
I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
I’m soo poor… I can’t even pay attention.
At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.
Last seen 1980! :D
God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me! :)
I hate fake people. You know what I'm talking about. Mannequins. :D
I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.
Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.
You can never buy Love....But still you have to pay for it ..
If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I'll tell you more.
Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!
When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be "I left one million dollars in the.
I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
My father always told me, 'Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.
Life is too short smile while you still have teeth.
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
If College has taught us anything, it's texting without looking :)
I'm Jealous Of My Parents... I'll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
Here my dad comes on whatsapp... From now on my status would be '***no status***' or just a smiley.
Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
People who exercise live longer, but what's the point when those extra years are spent at gym.
Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
It may look like I'm deep in thought, but 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what food to eat later.
Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you're going to die.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
We are WTF generation .... WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D
Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
It's been 70+ years, Tom. You're never going to eat Jerry :)
Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
At least mosquito's are attracted to me.
Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour's wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
Today's Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you a chance to change what you said.
My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions :)
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice :)
If time does not wait for you, don't worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
If school has taught us anything, it's texting without looking :)
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them :)
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
Excuse me .... Plesae empty your pockets .... I think you stole my heart.
I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :)
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat :)
Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture :)
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
I look at people sometimes and think ..... Really?? That's the sperm that won :)
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday :)
Nothing is illegal until you get caught :)
Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. :)
Girls work on their looks but not their minds b'coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.
The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me :)
I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something :)